Major Update: January 2, 2008
Facebook, Myspace, commenting on Youtube, your pages on Digg, Twitter, Flckr, Linked in, and avatars on Second Life. Many people have personalities, real, cyber-real and cyber fake online. How is one to navigate the norms? How do spaces and services differ? Why do we think they differ? I hear from many that there are no norms, others, that there are many. The purpose of this article is to share these learnings, and perhaps debate on what is ok, when and where, or discuss what boundaries if any, are necessary. I hope this is helpful and I look forward to what our collective manners/norms experiment tells us. The process itself may tell us a lot about this subject! I look forward to see how this evolves on Knol. Thank you to feedback so far, as you can see it is already making an impact.
I start with a link to a discussion that implies that the value of social networking is the very lack of rules -- why would we constrain ourselves, anyway?
I would be curious if others would agree with this notion and why.
Others have posted short conversations on this subject, including Tim O'Reilly on the O'Reilly Radar. But from what I can find, there is not a comprehensive place for this conversation and norms to be explored. Please let me know if you know of others. Here are those links:
If you believe there are norms and dare we assert that we see some levels of etiquette taking shape, see below. I have started with some pieces of advice from colleagues and friends that I have gathered, do you agree with these?
Feel free to collaborate with me and suggest additions, edits, etc.
General Norms or Advice:
1. For those over 25 -- Be clear whether your social networking page is a "kitty pictures" page, or a professional page, or quasi professional (a mix of both -- careful!). I.e., everything is fair game in the professional world. Set your boundaries and stick with it.
2. For those under 25 -- Understand that your pages are not private! See no. 1 under General Norms or Advice.
3. Respect the privacy of those on your lists -- please no spam
4. Think before you post. Pictures, comments, and blog entries can be saved and forwarded on to others. You should only post pictures and text that you wouldn't mind having other people see, including your parents, your neighbors, your former colleagues, college admission officers, and prospective employers.
5. Don't be 'that guy/gal.' As so eloquently said in the blog link below, "In professional social networking, don’t be that guy who takes advantage of the medium. Just because you met Clark at the proverbial water cooler doesn’t mean you have the right to add him as a MySpace friend. Even more importantly, don’t ever be that guy who takes content from a social networking page and shares it around the office… Karma will come for you."
Facebook Norms:
- It is ok to ignore Friend requests, event requests, cause requests. You don’t have to make friends with people you don’t know. Think before you poke.
- Consider waiting 24 hours before accepting or removing someone as a friend.
- Be clear what kind of Facebook page you are creating (see General Norms or Advice)
- It is ok to have silly aps on your page even if you have a quasi professional page, as long as they are not derogatory or sexual in nature.
- Be careful about sending aps that make others send the ap to their friends too (make sure they have an opt out of that requirement.)
- Don't post pictures, comments on your "friends" posts that would embarrass them, particularly if this appears to be a professional or quasi professional area. Not cool.
Linked In Norms:
- Accept Linked in requests unless you have had a bad experience with this person professionally. This one is up for debate. I recently heard from a colleague, who said she asks herself:
"How well do I know this person today with whom I rubbed shoulders professionally twenty years ago?' 'Has their professional experience diverged so far from the field in which we worked together that it is no longer relevant to the field I am in?'
What is the goal of Linked In networking? She continued, "(Is) the Linked In end game simply to see how many contacts one can amass? It matters to me to be connected to people who not only share interests but relevant professional experience."
What do the readers of this article think?
2. Show your Linked in list unless you are a consultant or list is full of clients to respect their privacy or protect your business (it seems like most don't share their Linked in pages)
MySpace Norms:
Thoughts anyone? How does this compare with Facebook?
For a Point of View on MySpace etiquette, see:
Digg Norms:
1. Control yourself on the Shouts. (Shouts are alerts Digg users send to their friends letting them now about articles they have dugg). Don't send multiple alerts to your 'friends' regarding the same story. It is like spam.
2. If someone else has submitted the story you are trying to Digg, as the site encourages you to do, don't resubmit it, digg the original story! It is not cool to add clutter and create article spam.
Other suggestions or comments?
Twitter Norms:
Given twitter's always "on" kind of quality, there are some unique norms, dos and dont's that people are espousing. Some of these seem a bit overkill, and yet, just like Former Senator Bob Graham of FL who kept written notebooks of almost ever signal activity he completed over many years (see "Take Note of Bob Graham",
Time Magazine,
http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,49456,00.html), some self editing maybe advised.
I recently came across a good article called "The Thoughtful User Guide, Writing My Twitter Etiquette Article: 14 Ways to Use Twitter Politely" by MARGARET MASON featured in The Morning News, who created a 14-point guide to improved "tweets". Tweets are the individual messages sent out on the Tweet system. I have pulled some of Margaret's tips that are relevant to our social netiquette theme, with a bit of editing and commentary here and there. To see the original list, check out the article:
1. Watch your ratio. If only a few people follow you, but you follow a thousand or more, many people will assume you’re a spammer. That’s because you probably are. Go away, spammer.
2. Drop 'em with no guilt. If you want to stop following someone, stop. There’s no need to send a breakup note. Unless you’re having Twitter sex (oh my.)
3. Think twice before twittering while drunk, high, etc. (Do we really need to say this? I guess so...) So this may be the 21st "drunk dail." One drunk tweet might be amusing. Unfortunately, when you’re drunk or high, Twitter is like a can of Pringles. You don’t want to break the seal.
3. Take a break! Twittering 30-plus times an hour pushes other people’s messages off followers’ homepages, and sends mobiles into convulsive twit-fits (to say nothing of excessive SMS charges). If you have a lot to say, but still want to engage with followers without alienating them, consider making more liberal use of direct messages. Also, don’t you occasionally need to use the restroom? Please don’t take your phone in there.
4. Remember everyone can hear you. This may seem rudimentary, but Twitter is a public medium, just like a blog. If you aren't comfortable with your Mom reading it, think twice. SEE General Norms above.
A good rule to live by... If it could get you fired, be used against you in court, or get in trouble with your significant other, be-still your typing thumbs...
5. Be vague when twittering private social events. The host may not want her sensitive extended circle to know about the handful of folks she invited for birthday drinks.
6. Remember Rude is Rude whether virtual or "real". Passive-aggressive tweets are never as inscrutable as the sender thinks. When you’re being mean, even covertly, eventually everyone figures out the target. And then they start firing the arrows back your way.
7. Don't be a character piggy. Twitter is best suited to messages that stay within its 140-character limit. Otherwise, users have to scroll back and track your name through multiple posts. That’s not such a big deal if you do it occasionally, but it can become galling if you make it a habit.
For another opinion on dos and don'ts in Twitter, see:
Second Life Norms (hi, please keep this PG 13 or better)
1. It is completely ok to build an avatar that looks nothing like you, including your race, gender, body type, etc. This is an escapist space.
2. Saying "hi" to others is encouraged. Don't be offended, however, if they do not say hi back -- do not be a pest with repeated "hi"s. They may be busy doing something else or just travelling through.
3. "Snapshots" can be taken in Second Life. FYI, at least at this article's writing, every time you take a picture in Second Life, "a sound goes off" which alerts everyone that you are taking pictures. Ask yourself, is this an appropriate moment to take a picture?
For more on Second Life Norms:
FLCKR Norms
This is an interesting one, particularly given that the photographic nature of FLCKR. Is it cool to post pictures that you KNOW will embarrass someone else? Impact their lives? It is one thing what YOU post about YOURSELF, but what about what you tag about someone else???? Thoughts?
1. Maintain general respect. Flickr is a vast social network made up of real people, so you should act as you would around real people. There’s no faster way to kill your profile than to be disrespectful, rude, hurtful, inconsiderate, snobby, superior, mean, or otherwise negative toward other people.
2. Friends and contacts. Friends and contacts are a great way to keep track of the photographers you like. I typically reserve the “friends” category for those photographers with whom I have extended relationships. This might include other photography bloggers, people I’ve had email conversations with, or somebody that frequents my photos with comments. When somebody adds you as a friend or contact, you’re notified and given the opportunity to add them back. By no means are you obligated to return the favor — it just means that they like you well enough to keep track of you. Everybody uses their friends and contacts in different ways, but I tend to be quite generous with adding people to my contacts group. I figure that if they’re watching my photos, I can spend a small amount of extra time looking at theirs.
3. Use of FAVORITES. Favorites are the perfect way to let somebody know you like their stuff. It’s quick, easy, and minimal effort. When somebody adds your photo as a favorite, you’re notified in the same way you’re notified about new comments. Part of you may feel slightly obligated to return the favor, but just like with the contacts, there’s really no obligation. Personally, I don’t run off to check out every person that adds one of my photos as a favorite, but I also don’t expect that in return when I add a favorite.
I do, however, take notice when somebody new adds several of my photos as a favorite. To me, this says that they like my work and they actually looked through it. At that point, I’m quite inclined to check out their photos and possibly add them as a contact, especially if they’ve left a few comments too.
4. Comments can be a great way to meet new people and start interesting relationships, but again, everybody uses them differently. Many of the Flickr comments are quick one-liners, but there are also deeper conversations happening out there. I treat the comments much in the same way I treat the favorites when it comes to returned favors. I don’t feel totally obligated to return the comments, but I’m also a semi-active commenter. In fact, I’m trying to keep the habit of adding a comment when I add a favorite.
5. Use of GROUPS. Sometimes you’ll also see group invites show up in the comments for your photos. These are just a way to make you aware of a particular group, and somebody has asked that you join up and submit your photo to the pool. It’s not required that you do, and you’re probably not going to hurt anybodies feelings if you don’t join the group. I tend to at least check them out and see what the group is all about. If I like the group, I’ll join and submit my image. Just note that different groups are set up in different ways. So when you get a group invite, check it out; if you like it, join in and participate; if not, don’t.
If you do join a group, abide by the rules. Only submit photos to the pool that truly belong there. And be respectful if you decide to join in the discussions. It’s that simple.
5. Use of Testimonials. Testimonials are like uber-comments aimed at the photographer rather than the photo. It’s a great way to tell a friend how much you appreciate their work. If you receive one of these from a fellow photographer, you should be very proud. But like comments, it’s not required or rude if you don’t return the favor.
6. USING PHOTOS
If you’re a publisher or blogger, you will need to pay attention to usage rights if you want to use somebody else’s photo in your publication. Many of the photos on Flickr have “All Rights Reserved” which means don’t use my photo for anything without permission. While other photos are managed under a “Creative Commons” license of some sort, which means you can use my photo if you follow the rules. So follow the rules and respect the wishes of the photographer. If you want to use a particular image for something and it’s not licensed to allow usage, just contact the photographer through FlickrMail. I typically contact people regardless of the license attached to the image and I haven’t had anybody turn me down yet. This route is your safest bet, plus it’s a great way to make new friends (and readers).
Social Netiquette Differences By Culture????
Are social netiquette norms for social networking universally shared across the web and culture??????
I would be interested in our thoughts about different cultures and how the use of these sites or similar sites may differ in terms of norms or etiquette. Thoughts?
Jonathan Mac
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Netiquette
http://www.socialfoc
ivanpw
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Great resource on web 2.0 norms
This knol is exceptional - I always wonder whether what I do in social networking is effective or not... Thanks for the resources listed in this knol.
I blog on your knol at Knol Today - http://www.knoltoday
Thanks :)
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Aaron De Los Santos
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Times are Changing
Antonio Centeno
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My personal rule on the web is.....
I love the web....but sometimes admire the people who purposely avoid the above mentioned social mediums.
Antonio Centeno
President, A Tailored Suit
http://www.atailored
Lindsi Gish
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More thoughts, and thanks.
It’s my belief that the applicable “rules” completely depend on the user’s intentions – and that’s exactly why there’s so much discussion on this topic. For example, I use my blog (http://socialmediag
So, in regards to your content here, I think you did a great job referring to the lists as “norms.” There are certainly general rules that the vast majority of the population applies to their social media usage. I’ve ended my “friendship” with several Digg users for over-shouting me, for example. That doesn’t mean they shouldn’t send out their shouts – as there are probably other friends who appreciate receiving notifications from those individuals. It just means that the way they choose to use the service does not match my intentions for listening or participating, and therefore I have the option to opt-out.
No rules, just personal preferences. If you have a goal to obtain or a reputation to manage, consider the norms. If you don’t care, make noise, throw standards out the window and have fun doing whatever you want.
The beauty of social media lies in our ability to choose who, what, where, when and how we want to do what we’re doing.
No rules.
Anonymous
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Agreed on knowing your boundaries