How to Understand Your Kids' Text Messages

Introduction

OMG! (Creative Commons photo by Nate Steiner)

• If you have ever looked at your kids' cell phone or chat conversations, you've probably wondered when they learned a second language.¹ More importantly, you may have pondered just what they're talking about. If not, you might want to start. Text messaging has become the latest way to keep up with activities and events, and if you want to be able to communicate effectively with your kid, you need to learn the lingo.² Add in concerns about online safety (like a 35-year-old man exchanging explicit text messages with a 14-year-old girl), and you can see how important understanding texts can be.³ Fortunately you'll soon be conversant in this new language—it seems much harder than it really is.

• WARNING: Some of the content on this page could be considered offensive. We have included some suggestive phrases for safety/informational purposes.

Step 1: Getting Down the Basics

BRB. (Creative Commons photo by Nesster)

• When teens text message, their goal is to say as much as possible in as few letters as possible. Rarely are words completely typed out. If you are good at deciphering vanity plates, you will probably be good at deciphering text messages. Here is how basic phrases are determined:

1. Acronyms: Acronyms are often used for common phrases. Examples are LOL for "laughing out loud" and OMG for "oh my god."
2. Abbreviated words: Words are often abbreviated, such as GF for girlfriend and PPL for people. Sometimes silent letters and vowels are removed, such as PLS for please and XLNT for excellent.
3. Numbers, letters and symbols for sounds: In such cases as 121 for "one to one," CUL for "see you later" and B4 for before, sounds are shortened to single letters/numbers.
4. Popular and random phrases: Some phrases have become popular for various reasons. Common terms include 420 for "marijuana", 143 for "I love you" (the number of letters in each word) and 459 for "I love you" (the corresponding numbers for the letters I, L and Y).^{4 5}
5. Known abbreviations: Terms such as @ for at are frequently used.⁶
6. Combination of any of the above.

• In order to understand some phrases, you need to look at the context. Otherwise, the results could be disastrous. For example:

1. U can mean "How are you?" or "You do it."
2. G2G can mean "Get together" or "Got to go"
3. GFY can mean "Good for you" or "Go f--- yourself"
4. BF can mean "boyfriend" or "best friend"
5. WB can mean "Welcome back" or "Write back"

• It may seem confusing, but you'll start to get the hang of it soon enough. Even normal English has homographs, or words that are spelled the same, yet have different meanings (e.g. "desert," "lead" and "refuse").

Step 2: Most Popular Phrases

• Let's start with some of the most popular phrases used. This will help give you some of the basics before we move on to phrases you might want to use and phrases you need to watch out for in your kids' text messages.

Online Text Message Dictionaries

ROFL. (Creative Commons photo by Brian Solis)

• Since text lingo has become almost a second language, it would be impossible to list all the terms on one page. However, there are a number of online resources available to help you translate a message. Here are a few of them:

1. Abbreviations.com
2. WebWasp: Text Messaging Dictionary  
3. Netlingo: The Largest List of Text Message Shorthand
4. Netlingo: The Top 50 Acronyms Every Parent Needs to Know
5. Dictionary of English slang and colloquialisms of the UK
6. ComputerUser: High-Tech Dictionary
7. Lingo2Word: Texting Lingo 
8. National Center for Missing & Exploited Children Chat Abbreviations  
9. Tech Dictionary

Step 3: Emoticons

• Emoticons, or the use of a combination of symbols to represent a word, phrase or emotion, are common in emails, instant messages and chat conversations. They also show up in text messages. Sometimes they are quite simple, such as the basic smile :-), while others are more complex. Here are a few of the basic emoticons you might see or want to use:

• For a larger list of emoticons, you can check out some of the following sources:

1. Wikipedia: List of Common Emoticons
2. ComputerUser: High-Tech Dictionary: Emoticons
3. Emoticons & Smilies: Emoticons Explained
4. Lingo2Word: Emoticon List

Step 4: Things You'll Want to Say

• The best way to learn "text lingo" is to start using it yourself. Texting your kids can be a great way to pass along messages. Here are a few text phrases that you might find useful.

Step 5: Warning Signs

• There are some codes that every parent should keep his/her eyes open for. These are codes that kids use to warn others that their parents are around or that they use to talk about sex, drugs, or to arrange a meeting.

Parent Warning Codes

• These are codes that kids use to let whomever they are talking to know that it is not safe to talk. If you see these codes, you should instantly be suspicious.

Meeting Codes

• These codes are used by strangers to gain information about people they don't know or to arrange a first meeting. They can be used between friends, but most are more commonly used in other circumstances.

Sex Terms

• Of course, one of the things parents need to be aware of is if sexually explicit conversations are occurring. Here are a few basic terms to get you started:

Drug Terms

• Drug terms change with the seasons, and it would be impossible to list them all here. The Office of National Drug Control Policy has a more complete list of street terms for drugs on its website. Parents can also get more information by checking out Parents: The Anti-Drug. Here are a few drug terms to keep in mind.

Other Terms

• These terms are ones you need to be aware of as well.

Conclusion

• Text messages are one of the main ways kids communicate with each other, and it can be a great way for you to communicate with them. Making the mistake of not taking the time and effort to learn the lingo can have drastic consequences. No matter how much you trust your children, remember that there are predators out there that you cannot trust. They know how to use text lingo to talk to your kids. Shouldn't you do the same?