How to Suck Up to Your Boss

With business comes much brown-nosing.  After all, it can be a way of self-survival within a company.  However, there’s a right way and there’s a wrong way to go about it.   Anyone can suck up to the boss, but doing so effectively (i.e. getting away with it and getting what you want without humiliating yourself or those around you) takes skill.

 Follow these five secrets to sucking up to your boss and you’ll be hanging with the Big Boys in less time than it takes to organize your filing cabinet! 

Secret Number 1:  Take some tips from Bond, James, Bond!   You would never see Mr. 007 walk into a room with his gun drawn, exposing his presence during a covert surveillance operation.  Similarly, you should never walk into the office with a coffee and doughnut in your hand, broadcasting how you brought them back for the head-honcho in the corner office.   Be discrete. The purpose of sucking up is to have your boss like you, not to have all co-workers conspire against you.  Become friendly with your boss, learn his and dislikes, then adapt your work habits to coincide with what he prefers.  This means that if your boss likes e-mails to be quick and to the point, format them using bullet point lists and only include what’s absolutely necessary.  On the other hand, if your boss wants to know every tiny detail about the projects you’re working on, be sure that your updates are meticulously written. 

Secret Number 2:  Pitch, don’t praise!  This secret to sucking up to the boss is fairly straight forward, although often overlooked.  If your boss approaches you to discuss a new proposal and asks for your opinion, don’t just say, “I agree, great idea!”  Always provide constructive feedback when you’re asked for it and ask.  Describe specific examples of why you think the project will benefit the company, suggest possible changes that could make the project better, an ask engaging questions to show that you’re interested.  Do you need more knowledge about a company to provide your boss with useful feedback?  Try searching free company profiles such as those at Cortera.  If your boss requests your opinion, it shows that he trusts you, values your thoughts, and wants to hear what you have to say.  If you fail to provide him with substantial feedback, chances are, he’s going to think twice before coming to you again. 

Secret Number 3:  Lend a helping hand!  If you’ve finished all of your assignments (this is a must!) and you notice that your boss’ desktop resembles the Himalayan Mountains with his mounds of paperwork, there’s no reason you can’t volunteer to help!  Sure, your co-workers could call you a Brown-Nose, but that’ll only be because they’re jealous that they didn’t think of the idea first!  Whether your boss takes you up on your offer to help or not, it shows that you are an attentive go-getter, and a team-player who cares about others enough to take on even the dullest of work for the good of the company.  How’s that for instant brownie points?  Assisting your boss also provides you with the perfect opportunity to prove that you are both competent and reliable. 

Secret Number 4:  Turn your frown upside down!  Nobody wants to be around a co-worker who’s outwardly miserable or constantly complaining.  If you’re always unhappy, it lowers office moral and makes others dread working with you.  Also, your hope of a promotion will be as attainable as finding a diamond ring at the bottom of a Cracker Jacks box… not to mention that your boss will start to question whether you’re even the right fit for your current position.  Sucking up to the boss to progress within the company requires you to put in the effort to show enthusiasm and appreciation!   Whether you demonstrate your enjoyment by saying, “This project sounds exciting!  Thank you for thinking of me to carry it out – I’ll have the preliminary results to you by tomorrow!” or simply “Hi Mr. Doe!  Good to see you this morning!” your boss will think more highly of you and your cheerful gratitude will pay off!  

Secret Number 5:  The early bird gets the worm!  Moral of the story: be punctual!  Arrive at the office early, or at the very least, on time.  Being the first person your boss sees when he walks into work each morning is a subtle suck-up tactic that is guaranteed to get you noticed!   Even if you’re only checking your e-mail, being at your desk, ready and eager to work at the drop of a hat, demonstrates dedication, responsibility and loyalty – three qualities your boss will love much more than an ill-attempted compliment on his necktie!