Self-Identity

At first glance self- identity, knowing who you are, may seem like a deceptively simple process. But few people actually have any idea who they really are. 

From the moment we are born we begin taking in information at a staggering rate through our five senses, and we internalize that information through a process of identification and association. 

We identify something - anything - and we make an association with that thing. If a big, furry thing with a tail comes in and licks us on the face: 

dog = good! 

If that same big, furry thing with a tail comes in and bites us on the leg:  

dog = bad! 

A big thing in the kitchen with doors and dials is the thing mommy uses to make yummy food: 

stove = good! 

If that same big thing in the kitchen with doors and dials burns us on the hand: 

stove = bad! 

This process continues thousands of times per day, day in and day out, for years prior to the full development of the cerebral cortex - the seat of our rational, "conscious" minds. That is to say, the process is largely unconscious and not subject to our will power, decision-making ability, logic or reason. Those capacities come later. 

Our parents "feed" into the process. We do this and we are "good." We do that and we are "bad." We're "artistic." We "can't" do math. Why can't we be more like our brother, or sister? 

Our siblings, friends, teachers and the media feed vast amounts of information into our subconscious minds and this information - these identifications and associations - become our "knowns." They are what we "know" about ourselves and the world we live in. These knowns may be true, they may not be true. They may be entirely inaccurate assessments of the situation at hand. They may be one-time learnings which have no bearing on future reality whatsoever. All we "know" is that we know them. 

By the time we reach adolescence, this collection of "knowns" has solidified into a kind of unconscious "life script" which even our own recently developed conscious mind has great difficulty reaching. We can receive information over and over again consciously that we are a certain way or are capable of something or another, but if that information is not congruent with our "life script," that information is usually rejected at the subconscious level. 

Is that "life script" working for you? Is that really who and what you are? In order to help answer that question, here are some possibilities to consider: 

1. You are unique - one of a kind -- in all of time. From this point all the way back to the beginning of time there has never been anyone like you. From this point all the way out to the end of time there will never be another you. There is no owner's manual for being you.  

2. Anyone you try to emulate will always be better at being themselves than you will. Trying to be someone other than yourself will result in a second rate version of that person. Be yourself. 

3. No one has the knowledge, experience or the right to tell you how to be who and what you are -- except you.