Seduction is simply: getting to "Yes."
Seduction has had mostly nefarious meanings throughout history, although it can be positive in meaning as well, depending on how you look at it.
Most commonly, seduction is thought of as a male seducing a female. Most people will conjure up pictures in their minds of a man with hidden intent and knowledge using that against and unknowing innocent young woman to get sexual favors from her. However, if we turn that situation around and the woman is seducing the man, the negative connotations seem to disappear for most.
The word seduction has been hijacked by a particular context: a man seducing a woman. And along with that, the word has a negative slant.
But if it happens to be Brad Pitt trying to seduce that same girl it is not so bad is it. Why? Because we perceive that Brad Pitt has something more to offer the young woman than the average guy.
However, if we pull the word Seduction from that particular sexual context and put it into another such as sales, it can also still have a bit of a negative connotation.
You and your children are being seduced by salespeople and marketers everyday, all day long.
But like the Brad Pitt scenario above, if we like the product/service, or if we have seen the results of the product/service, we rarely think of it as seduction.
Have the people standing in line for the latest iPhone been seduced?
By chunking down on what we have discovered so far, it is starting to sound as if in many people's minds, the meaning of the word Seduction is more about someone trying to get to "Yes" that has too much of a disadvantage.
If it is a old man that is trying to seduce the young woman of her virtuousness it is deemed an inappropriate seduction... something negative.
If it is a handsome old man... perhaps not so bad. If it a rich old man, perhaps a benefit for her.
If it is a rich and handsome old man, we are getting warm. Now Seduction might seem a little more fair and even something we want to observe.
Now what if it is a rich old man who is about ready to die and leave it all to his Handsome young son who is single?
What if the old man is really Seducing the young woman to meet his soon to rich handsome son? It all changes doesn't it?
If in the movie Pretty Woman, the character played by Richard Gere was instead played by Harvey Keitel or Michael Moore, would you have still felt the same about the movie?
In a sense, you have just been seduced.
Through words, I have taken you through a simple progression to see something that might at first seem inappropriate or wrong into something that might become something you support. We have progressively worked from no to yes. At least maybe.
If i had left you with the initial story of an old man trying to seduce a virtuous young woman, you stay at no.
Seduction is the art of putting doubt into the initial story or meaning in your mind and exchanging it for one that will get you to "Yes."
Some people use this knowledge of Seduction to promise things that they are never going to fulfill. We seem to hear more about them than the stories where someone was seduced into doing something positive or beneficial.
If I am doing coaching with you, I work to get you to say "Yes" to what you want. My job is to effectively "seduce" the parts of you that don't want you to change to change. And I also am seducing the parts of you that DO want to change to take action.
Is this a kind of seduction I want if I have something I would like to change? You bet!
If I can seduce a sick friend or relative to want to stop smoking -- or better yet seduce them to stop -- is this something that can change the way you feel about seduction? How about excessive drinking or drugs?
Same difference. Seduction can be very beneficial if the intent of the seduction is positive.
So it really is about intent isn't it?
When I first wrote my book Breaking The Seduction Code and my Initial podcast on Seduction in fall 2004, there were only a few other people writing and talking about seduction. Now it is flooded.
My book and podcast were also a Seduction of a sort. I was using seduction on the men who were reading and listening. They wanted to learn ways to seduce women. I am sure most thought I would give them secret knowledge about how they could say a few magic words and the woman would fall over in lust with them.
They figured the road was short and easy...and in a sense that was my promise to them because compared to how they were approaching the subject...my road is short and easy.
Four years later I have stacks of testimonials that tell me that I did in fact seduce these guys into buying my products and listening to my show. They also know that they benefited far more that what they initially expected.
The were pleasantly surprised to find out that I had appealed (Seduced) to their desire while giving them something deeper than they asked for and the results were better than they expected.
You convince you child to go to school everyday, even if they're being bullied. You are seducing them to continue to go through with the daily grind because you know the end result of education will benefit them more than the dislike they may have right now.
Seduction is about revealing the implied -- the hidden -- and to best negotiate with it.
The old man wants the pretty young girl and she wants someone who knows how to love her in the way she needs it. The older man can convey this message. He can seduce her into the knowledge that he can not only do this for her. She feels it.
The star football player is the perfect physical match but doesn't know beans about love. As a matter of fact he is known to abuse his girlfriends.
Who might she be better off with?
You see the issue here is not just that the seducer gets what he or she wants. It is about the seduced getting what they want.
The seduced has something the seducer wants. The question is "Does the seducer have enough of what the Seduced wants?" and at that point in the negotiations isn't the seduced really seducing and dangling the value of what they have?
The only difference at this point seems to be that the Seducer went first.
You have money, and I have cigarettes that will satisfy your cravings.
You have money, and I have Penicillin that will cure your infection.
It is all perspective.
You buy a new movie for your kids to watch if they are good. Here is a new video game...please be quiet for a little while. Here is a new bike, go play with your friends. Here is some ice cream, do you love me?
All of us are seducing all of the time.
We want to get to "Yes."
We want to say "Yes" -- to ourselves and others.
We want others to say "Yes" to us.
General axiom on Seduction: When you give enough of what others want... you will get what you want.
There are many many ways to learn how to get others and yourself you "Yes."
Seduction: It is a promise of one thing in exchange for a promise of another.
Seduction has had mostly nefarious meanings throughout history, although it can be positive in meaning as well, depending on how you look at it.
Most commonly, seduction is thought of as a male seducing a female. Most people will conjure up pictures in their minds of a man with hidden intent and knowledge using that against and unknowing innocent young woman to get sexual favors from her. However, if we turn that situation around and the woman is seducing the man, the negative connotations seem to disappear for most.
The word seduction has been hijacked by a particular context: a man seducing a woman. And along with that, the word has a negative slant.
But if it happens to be Brad Pitt trying to seduce that same girl it is not so bad is it. Why? Because we perceive that Brad Pitt has something more to offer the young woman than the average guy.
However, if we pull the word Seduction from that particular sexual context and put it into another such as sales, it can also still have a bit of a negative connotation.
You and your children are being seduced by salespeople and marketers everyday, all day long.
But like the Brad Pitt scenario above, if we like the product/service, or if we have seen the results of the product/service, we rarely think of it as seduction.
Have the people standing in line for the latest iPhone been seduced?
By chunking down on what we have discovered so far, it is starting to sound as if in many people's minds, the meaning of the word Seduction is more about someone trying to get to "Yes" that has too much of a disadvantage.
If it is a old man that is trying to seduce the young woman of her virtuousness it is deemed an inappropriate seduction... something negative.
If it is a handsome old man... perhaps not so bad. If it a rich old man, perhaps a benefit for her.
If it is a rich and handsome old man, we are getting warm. Now Seduction might seem a little more fair and even something we want to observe.
Now what if it is a rich old man who is about ready to die and leave it all to his Handsome young son who is single?
What if the old man is really Seducing the young woman to meet his soon to rich handsome son? It all changes doesn't it?
If in the movie Pretty Woman, the character played by Richard Gere was instead played by Harvey Keitel or Michael Moore, would you have still felt the same about the movie?
In a sense, you have just been seduced.
Through words, I have taken you through a simple progression to see something that might at first seem inappropriate or wrong into something that might become something you support. We have progressively worked from no to yes. At least maybe.
If i had left you with the initial story of an old man trying to seduce a virtuous young woman, you stay at no.
Seduction is the art of putting doubt into the initial story or meaning in your mind and exchanging it for one that will get you to "Yes."
Some people use this knowledge of Seduction to promise things that they are never going to fulfill. We seem to hear more about them than the stories where someone was seduced into doing something positive or beneficial.
If I am doing coaching with you, I work to get you to say "Yes" to what you want. My job is to effectively "seduce" the parts of you that don't want you to change to change. And I also am seducing the parts of you that DO want to change to take action.
Is this a kind of seduction I want if I have something I would like to change? You bet!
If I can seduce a sick friend or relative to want to stop smoking -- or better yet seduce them to stop -- is this something that can change the way you feel about seduction? How about excessive drinking or drugs?
Same difference. Seduction can be very beneficial if the intent of the seduction is positive.
So it really is about intent isn't it?
When I first wrote my book Breaking The Seduction Code and my Initial podcast on Seduction in fall 2004, there were only a few other people writing and talking about seduction. Now it is flooded.
My book and podcast were also a Seduction of a sort. I was using seduction on the men who were reading and listening. They wanted to learn ways to seduce women. I am sure most thought I would give them secret knowledge about how they could say a few magic words and the woman would fall over in lust with them.
They figured the road was short and easy...and in a sense that was my promise to them because compared to how they were approaching the subject...my road is short and easy.
Four years later I have stacks of testimonials that tell me that I did in fact seduce these guys into buying my products and listening to my show. They also know that they benefited far more that what they initially expected.
The were pleasantly surprised to find out that I had appealed (Seduced) to their desire while giving them something deeper than they asked for and the results were better than they expected.
You convince you child to go to school everyday, even if they're being bullied. You are seducing them to continue to go through with the daily grind because you know the end result of education will benefit them more than the dislike they may have right now.
Seduction is about revealing the implied -- the hidden -- and to best negotiate with it.
The old man wants the pretty young girl and she wants someone who knows how to love her in the way she needs it. The older man can convey this message. He can seduce her into the knowledge that he can not only do this for her. She feels it.
The star football player is the perfect physical match but doesn't know beans about love. As a matter of fact he is known to abuse his girlfriends.
Who might she be better off with?
You see the issue here is not just that the seducer gets what he or she wants. It is about the seduced getting what they want.
The seduced has something the seducer wants. The question is "Does the seducer have enough of what the Seduced wants?" and at that point in the negotiations isn't the seduced really seducing and dangling the value of what they have?
The only difference at this point seems to be that the Seducer went first.
You have money, and I have cigarettes that will satisfy your cravings.
You have money, and I have Penicillin that will cure your infection.
It is all perspective.
You buy a new movie for your kids to watch if they are good. Here is a new video game...please be quiet for a little while. Here is a new bike, go play with your friends. Here is some ice cream, do you love me?
All of us are seducing all of the time.
We want to get to "Yes."
We want to say "Yes" -- to ourselves and others.
We want others to say "Yes" to us.
General axiom on Seduction: When you give enough of what others want... you will get what you want.
There are many many ways to learn how to get others and yourself you "Yes."
Seduction: It is a promise of one thing in exchange for a promise of another.
Chris Calo
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