My Job as a private investigator

Need some information? Trying to solve a crime? Looking for an old boyfrined or girlfriend? Want to check out a potential tenant or a new employeer? Ever heard of someone known as a Private Investigator? Doesn't matter because now you just heard it.  How cool is this, being a mighty private investigator.  I have the power to find your social security master death files, set up nanny cams, track your runaway teenagers, take cases to court, get information from credit bureau, find unlisted numbers, interrogate suspects, work a crime scene, skip trace on the web, and investigate your background.  Not even the President of the United States of America has those skills, sure he can ask someone to do all these things for him, but a real private investigator like me has a lot more skills than the president himself.

            What does a private investigator do, you ask? My question is did you read the first pargraph? Before I jump into the sticky details of PI trade, let me explain the "real" PI business.  The private investigation inudustry is one of most interesting and unusual trade.  The people who can locate others, find the nasty details about their ex-relationships, hunt into their hidden assets and spy on others have the oppertunity to make a good living with very little overhead and expenses.  The key in this field is "experience".

            When I talk to about experience, I am not reffering to some old guy who has taught chemistry all his life and now looks like Eintstien's grandson, I am talking about "real world" experience.  This includes skills such as critical thinking, knowing the clues of infidelity, being able to conduct a crime scene investigation, knowing special "trick and treats" of PIs such as; exploring trash covers, fooling caller IDs, pretext calls, and getting subjects out of the house.  Surveillance, moving or stationery are also very important elements in a successful investigation.  Other techniques include interviewing and interrogating the suspects and winning the telephone games.  Finally, the most important skills are the computer skills that one needs in order to be able to search millions of private databases that include information about every person living in the United States

            Anyways, I don't want this to become too technical for you to understand, so I will discuss one of the events where I successfully concieted a poor guy and made him "break" his nonpublished number. So I called this guy and told him that I am a respresentative of Pizza Hut and asked him if he answers three quick questions, I will send him a coupon for a free large pizza.  The questions were;"(1) Have you ordered home-delivery pizza from Pizza Hut within the last three months? (2) If so, how many times per month do you call for home deliver? If never, do you know where the closest home-delivery outlet is? (3) Are you familiar with the new Sicilian-style pizza and have you ever ordered that?" Of course I didn't give a hoot about the answers to the questions, and got through them very quickly.  Next, I thanked him very much for his time and told him I will send him a coupon for a free large pizza and thanked him again for the participation in the survey.  Finally, the punch line came up and I asked him "To what address would you like the coupon to be sent to and what name should I adress it to? BiNgO! I have got his name and address.

            One of the gifts from God to the private investigators are the Credit Headers. Surprized! in your credit file, thier is loads of  personal information which I can use to locate you, and because it is not subject to the FCRA, it is not considered Credit Information.  A credit header includes your name, date of birth, social security number, telephone number, current and previous addreses, and current and previous employers.  The credit bureaus, therefore, sell (they are in the business, after all, to make more money) what is called "credit header" ifnormation to various databases or rellers.

            In private investigation business, many times a wife comes to us suspecting her husband cheating on her, now this gets very interesting. She will tell me that her husband, in all of a sudden have joined a gym class, stopped eating ice cream and Frecnh fries.  His triceps are getting some look and waistline is trimming down.  Also too many hang-up calls and numerous out-of-area calls are taking place.  Not to forget the 2:00 o'clock in the morning talking on the phones in the spare bedroom and hanging the phone up when the wife opens the room.  And worst of all, credit card charges appear on the statement of shopping centers the husband never naturally visit. 

            So one day Gretchen came to me and wanted me to find out the charges her husband had on his credit card.  She was susicious of course.  After some discussion,  I suggested she go on her husband's computer and bring up his monthly statement online.  She used the Internet Explorer and her husband Rod, docotr had the AutoComplete feature turned on.  Gretchen had an idea what his user name would be and as she typed in the first letter, rest of it automtically inserted itself into the blanks.  A few more clicks and she found out there were some chagres from the Colorado medical convention.  There were several charges in the $60 and $80 range from the hotel gift shop and another of $179 transaction from a large mall.  The only gifts she recieved when he had come home were some free pens with medicine logos and two refrigerator magnets. Now God knows what the hack she did to the poor man. I heard the poor guy now starts out each morning with a 30-minute jog around the bathroom and has meaningful conversations with his toaster.

            Finally,  being a private investigator is a career which is definately a little unusual because it requires smarts regular people don't often carry.  With the advent of the telephone, fax machine, and computer, I can have access to as much information as the biggest government agency.  This is a career which requires not just natural talent but real life experience and then provides its seekers with profit, fun, and interesting business.  I don't need a badge, or a gun, or to have been a cop in the previous life.  Thus I said it before and I will say it again just to make YOU believe I LOVE THIS JOB!!!