Wedding Speech

          One thing that makes wedding speeches so scary is that guests at a wedding all seem to be waiting for that one speech that will leave the couple speechless and full of emotion.  Many guests seem to expect a speech that will have a great impact on the wedding couple.  The trick to giving a great wedding speech is learning how to turn that nervous energy into a memorable speech! There are several ways to use this nervous energy to your advantage:

 

·         Everyone gets nervous about public speaking. In fact, some people are more scared of public speaking than they are of dying! Realizing that you are not the only person who is nervous is often one of the first steps to overcoming pre-speech jitters.  Putting your nerves into context makes you feel less “alone” in your anxiety.  It also lets you adopt a more controlled attitude about speech giving.  Many other people are also nervous about speeches and still manage to deliver well composed words despite their nervousness.

 

·         You have the ideal audience at a wedding.  The wedding guests and Bridal couple that you are speaking to are going to be a very supportive, close, and interested audience while you are giving your speech.  People will be anxious to hear what you have to say. The people attending a wedding are there to celebrate the wedding of two people they know and love, and not to listen to speeches that are perfect.

 

·         Before you begin work on your speech keep in mind that speeches that are easier to give are generally less scary, easier for your audience to listen to, and more effective as well. Many beginning speech writers want to develop complicated and elaborate speeches that will really “wow” the audience.  However, simplicity is usually best. 

 

A simple wedding speech is composed of a few key parts:  

 

·         The hook:  People will be listening to a lot of speeches at a wedding and you want yours to stand out from the rest. The best way to do that is to start by saying something that will catch their attention at the beginning of the speech.  This is called the “hook”. The hook can be in the form of a personal story, a hypothetical scenario that will make people think, or an anecdote about the couple.  A quote can also work well as a way to hook the audience and grab their attention.  Anything that shows why you care about the couple, or why other people should care, will make your audience WANT to listen to what you have to say. You should begin a wedding speech with a hook of some sort.

 

·         The set up:  Once you have made your audience want to listen to you, you'll want to make it as easy as possible for them to follow your speech from beginning to end. The most effective way to do this is to indicate what tone you will be using and what your speech will cover.  You should NOT give a breakdown of your speech since you want to keep the talk quite short.  However, a simple phrase or sentence that gives your audience a sense of what is to come is always appreciated.

 

·         The follow-through:  After you've mapped out your speech make sure that you follow your speech map, taking care not to drift too far from what you intended to say.  Generally, you will want to end your speech with a toast or a blessing of some sort.

 

          While you do not need to follow the above simple speech plan to the letter it does give you a quick idea of what sort of speech outline tends to work well for many speeches.  If you are at a wedding and wish to make a quick toast, or speech on the spot, this simple and easy-to-remember three-part structure will see you through.  This structure can also give you some early ideas about how wedding speeches work and how they can be written.   

          You will want to keep the above key parts of a speech for making impromptu toasts and speeches.  While a wedding gives you a chance to plan, write, and practice a speech ahead of time there may be several times throughout the wedding when you will want to give a toast with little preparation.  If you are a member of the wedding party and are attending rehearsal dinners, showers, and bachelor parties you may find that you need to give a speech.  You will not always be told ahead of time whether this will be the case for the events you will be attending.  Many times one person will start with a toast which will lead to several toasts and speeches. Keep the above key points in mind for speech structure and you will always be prepared.

          If you have been told ahead of time that you’ll be required to speak at the shower, bachelor party, Bridal shower, or rehearsal you will want to prepare a little more.  You do not want to be giving the same speech to the Bridal couple several times and this means that you will have to develop a few speeches that you can use.  Since all of your speeches are going to be different you need to know exactly what you are going to say in a general sense so that you can prepare your speech.  Here is a short list of the most important questions that you must consider before writing each of your speeches:

 

·         What kind of speech do I plan to make (humorous, poetic, sentimental)?

·         How long will my speech be?

·         What is my role in this wedding (father of the Bride, Best Man, Maid of Honor, Bridesmaid, or other)?

·         What type of impression am I hoping to leave with the audience?

·         Is this a first wedding or second?

·         How well do I know the couple?

·         How long have I known the couple?

·         How do I want the couple to remember my speech?

 

          The more that you know about the Bride and Groom, the more personal information you’ll be able to include in your speech.  Finding the answers to the following questions about the Bride and Groom will help you find your inspiration as well as give you some ideas for what to include in your speech.  Don't hold back when you’re finding out information about the couple and make sure that you write down everything that you learn for reference as you’re writing your speech.  You will have plenty of time to edit the content later. Here are some questions that you should ask the couple or people who are close to them, such as parents, siblings, and best friends:

·         How long have the Bride and Groom known each other?

·         How and where did the couple meet?

·         How did the Groom propose?

·         What was the Bride’s reaction to the proposal?

·         Does the couple have any children?

·         What are the Bride and Groom's mutual interests?

·         Ask the Bride what five words come to mind when she thinks of the Groom.

·         Ask the Groom what five words come to mind when he thinks of the Bride.

·         What is the funniest thing that happened to the Groom while Bride was around or missing in action? And vice-versa?

·         What do the Bride and Groom dream about for their future?

 
          The above questions are more important that you might think. When you find the answers to these questions you will find themes and ideas that can help you write a memorable and treasured speech that will be fondly remembered by the Bride and Groom for years to come.

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