A Mother Blessing - An Alternative to a Baby Shower

For the Navajo people, the ceremony known as a Blessingway is the foundation of their way of life.  The Changing Woman is the major diety for the Navajo.  The Blessingway recounts her instructions to the people she created.  These teachings are about major religious practices and historical events such as a boy or girl's puberty rite of passage, or the consecration of a new family home.  The purpose of a Blessingway is to obtain peace, harmony, protection, and to help realize the goal of a long happy life. 

 

 

 

Who gets to come? Keep it intimate and small. Only invite those the mama is close to and can positively contribute. Don't invite anyone just because you feel obligated. Keep it under 15 people. If there are more than 15 you really want to attend, keep the Mother Blessing intimate and have a reception after or have a celebration after the baby is born.

Where is it? The best place is the mama-to-be's home (offer to clean her home as a gift). This way, you can bless her home as an activity. If this isn't an option, a nearby home of a participant or an outdoor setting that is calm.

What atmosphere? Think intimate. First and foremost, turn off all phones and pagers! Consider playing relaxing music, burning scented candles or incense. If it's cold and you have a fireplace, this is a wonderful time to put it to good use.  Ask yourself, "what makes me calm?".

Did someone say food? All of the food should have meaning. Think homemade and from the heart. Maybe have everyone bring a dish that is the mama-to-be's comfort food, or a favorite food (a great excuse for a chocolate feast).  Also a great opportunity to leave the mama with leftovers so she doesn't have to cook for her family.

 

 

Welcome Everyone:  Welcome everyone and give a brief description of what a blessingway is. Set your intention of positive support for the pregnant mama and preparing her for the journey of labor and birth.

 

Introduction:  Go around and have all the woman introduce themselves. Maybe have them say how they know the pregnant mama, a positive birth story, poem, or an atribute about the mama-to-be which will help during childbirth.

Smudging or Purification:  This is an ancient tradition to cleanse the space of negative energy. You can purchase a smudge stick made of sage. If you do not have a smudge stick, you can also use cedar or sage incense.

Invocation:  Now that the negative energy is removed, pray and invite the positive energy. Say an invocation or prayer using whichever belief system you practice.

The Main Portion of the Ceremonies:  During this time, you can perfom the grooming, the gift giving, and the activities.

The Closing:  Of course, thank all the woman for comming and positively contributing. Make sure every woman was able to share all they wanted to. Thank the spirits you invited during the invocation. This would be the time to hand out favors such as a candle or scented soap Make sure each guest recieves a favor and will use it to remind them of the wishes they are to keep making until after childbirth.

 

 

Create a birthing necklace. It is intended for the woman to wear during birth to bring strength and positive energy. Ask each woman attending to bring a bead that best represents their wish for the mother and baby during labor and delivery. Pass around the string or wire cut for the necklace. Have each woman explain the significance of the bead they chose. You can even pass around a journal at the same time so the woman can write the meaning (we know preggo brain).  Need bead help?  Go to Blessingway Beads.

 

The foot bath and hair brushing maybe the most intimate activity. Wash the mama's feet in a small bath filled with flower petals or essential oils. Drying the feet with cornmeal will impart a nice glow that symbolizes luck and protection as she walks on her path. You can simultaneously brush/braid her hair or do them as separate activities. You can finish off the hair brushing time by decorating her hair with flowers. This would be a great time for storytelling.

 

Storytelling is meant to encourage the mother (keep the horror stories to yourself please). You can have the other woman tell their own birthing stories, maybe say how they know the mama-to-be, or maybe even tell inspirational stories of motherhood. You can even invite the guests to read encouraging poetry.

 

Create a belly cast or paint the mama-to-be's belly with henna or body paints.

 

Lighting candles. You can have each woman bring a candle from home and light it at the beginning of the Mother Blessing. You can also incorporate candle making into one of your activities. These candles are to be taken home by each woman present and lit when she hears the mama is in labor.

 

Making "help" lists isn't part of the traditional ceremony, however a great idea. Have the guests commit to bringing a meal over after the baby is born. Also, create a list to help with housework or errands. As any new mommy can tell you, this is the best gift of all.

Meditation stones. Have each woman paint or write a wish for the mama while she is in labor. Place all the dried stones in a basket and she has a great focal point for labor.

Wrist Binding is probably the best way to end a Mother Blessing. Use a ball of wool, hemp, or cotton. Have all the woman stand in a tight circle and wrap the string around each woman's wrist. After the string has been passed you can use this time to say a prayer for the mama-to-be, recite poetry, or just be reminded how we are all united. Then have each woman cut their string and tie it around their wrist. It is meant to be a reminder until the mama-to-be has given birth.